Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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