I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
is that a dick in a sweater?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
