She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
