There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
thus making me awesome and them whores
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
