He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
