Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I've blown a few things in my day
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
