dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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