Cold hands, warm shart.
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
