My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We are two peas in an std pod
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
