Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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