they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
