Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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