i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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