Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
