Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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