I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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