Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
