you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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