My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
