just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Life is so much better after having sex.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
