remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
