More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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