dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
