Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I have demons in me.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
