Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
