I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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