Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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