I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
