Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
