your parents love me but you hate me
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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