Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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