I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
