weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
