Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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