I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
