you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
