Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
