its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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