if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
