so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
