do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
