Screwed.edu
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think i peed on brittanys purse
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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