my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
