I'm drive I can fine osifer
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
