I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
