i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
