I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
