these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
thus making me awesome and them whores
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
