Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
