It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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